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Angie 7, Dennis Rodman 7, North Korea 5, Michael Ian Black 5, Allstate 4, Mars 3, Us 3, Mib 3, Washington 3, U.s. 3, Reno 3, Obama 2, Jedediah 2, Andy 2, Kenneth Bayh 2, New York 2, Tucker Carlson 2, Greg 2, Liam Snur 1, Adalimumab 1,
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  FOX News    Red Eye    News/Business. Discussing  
   the day's hottest topics. New.  

    May 11, 2013
    8:00 - 9:01pm PDT  

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e effects. is your cholesterol at goal? ask your doctor about crestor. [ female announcer ] if you can't afford your medication, astrazeneca may be able to help. welcome to "red eye," 60 minutes, minutes of video. andy, what's coming up on tonight's show? >> thanks. our top story tonight is mother's day sexist? the shocking accusation that is both shocking and an accusation. plus, the u.s. government tells the company behind the world's first 3d-printed gun to remove the plans from the internet, leaving behind cold, dead links. finally, 80,000 people have applied to be the first humans to go to mars and never come back. we'll try to figure out to what it will take to make bill shultz one of them. >> happy mother's day. >> same to you. >> did you get my card? >> no, i didn't. >> good because i didn't send you one, you jerk.
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>> okay. let's welcome our guest -- she's so hot that global warming makes frightening documentaries about her. i'm here with author, columnist, and fox contribute or, jennaa look at you smiling, stop it. if comedic genius were an oil field, people would drill him for pay, michael ian black. mib. in app japan he-- and next to m carlson. "fox and friends" weekend co-anchor. congratulations. >> thank you. >> and editor-in-chief of the great "daily collar. "the k"♪ >> the first story, don't forget, ross and rachel were on a break, greg. [ laughter ] >> they were. >> no one follow. should america say no way to murd mother's day? a writer suggests that the special day is sexist and reinforces gender stereotypes. kate stone lombardi, of course
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with three names, laments the fact that this sunday is seen as the one time hard-working moms are allowed to escape chores in their whiny, stupid kids. whereas father's day is when the so-called breadwinners are urged it spend the day with family. some say mother's day's day and father's day cards reinforce sex stereotypes. moms thank the hug for drying the tears, always being there. dads are thanked for role models and individuals to look up to. this is disgusting -- and may require a march on washington. the state of, washington, though. anyway, speaking of showing your love --
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he does not need mother's day. he has everything in his hands or in boots. michael ian black, are you tired? you're a parents with a wife and -- >> multiple children. don't ask how many because i don't know. >> are you constantly tired of allowing gender constructs to make our decisions? >> no, i'm growing increasingly more comfortable the older i get. i went into parenting thinking i'm going to be the cool liberal hippie dad where i'll do the chores and be engaged with the kids. no more of that. i'm done with w that. let mom suckle. let mom dry tears. let me be the role model and individual to look up to. >> are you n the cold, hard father? >> this is how my children are specifically instructed to address me. father -- with the soft "r." "father, may i play "minecraft"?" "no, you may not."
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>> we need that. the way this squlengz is turning out will -- generation is turning out will end with the ultimate impeachment of president obama. >> i hope so. >> you have kids, how many -- >> four. >> four kids. do you think mother's day is sexist? is it sexist -- >> wow, feminism's still around? okay. i mean, this chick's the last person in america to wonder why mother's day and father's day are different. because mothers and fathers are didn't. anybody who think -- >> try white people need a holiday. >> no. still making -- get rid of the traditional nuclear tsunami we did. and it sucks. it wasn't replaced by anything better. it was replaced by chaos. >> that's a good point. and sadness. >> chaos and sadness. the name of my ferrets. jenna, do you agree or disagree? i'm not sure of what i'm asking. >> i don't like gender stereotypes because i don't think moms and dads fit into boxes of what we think they do -- >> they do in my house. >> my dad is super increasing. my mom is bad [ bleep ].
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she mom hate to cook. if people looked at me, they would probably think she cooks, clean, no, do that. >> you're not a mom. >> that's true. but even if i was a mom, i probably wouldn't do those things. >> how do you know that? >> because i would want a house husband. i always have. >> really? >> yeah. >> one thing men can't do -- i agree, my wife's not a big cook eitherment m eitherme either. men iran good at ai raising really -- men aren't good at raising really little kids. >> i disagree. >> i mean really little kids. >> i want to violently disagree with you, yet i totally agree. let me speak from my own experience. >> i want to disagree, too. i mean really little, i don't mean 5 -- >> i hated my babies. they were terrible. and girls know what to do, it's instincti instinctive. i noticed -- >> they know poop.
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they can handle poop? according to my web site, womenhandlepoop.com -- >> none of those william are mothers. >> i talked to your mother and she said the best mother's day gift would be if bill never talked to her again. >> why do you -- every show i hear a horrible thing you said about me. you're the one that didn't have dad wrapping up. >> sorry. now as far as guys are concerned, we can raise little kids. it's the holding to them part that's the problem. the dropping of curves all the time. women for whatever reason even though they're unbelievably weaker than we are and not as smart -- they can hold kids much better. they've more maternal and better at that. it's the curves. >> you guys are proving my point. my dad negates everything you're saying. if that's the case, that tells me there are other dads that do -- >> would this depress me?
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>> he wasn't so good at it. i was never my dad walking may to sleep and singing to me. he was a super nurturing guy. kind of a macho man. >> this is what women do when you talk about facts. they bring up personal anecdotes. >> that's certainly what i do. >> i'm not laughing. >> no, can i ask you -- you're a writer, isn't it really probably the most sexist thing to do is to hire female writers to write is it sexist articles? you never have -- there are no guys that go is valentine's day sexist? or is mother's day sexist, or are puppies sex scientist it's always women. isn't that inherently sexist to hire women to do these snow showers. >> i'm going challenge your basic assumption. i bet if we did a little lexus-nexus is, that what that's called? >> i think it is. >> we would guarantee that men are writing the articles. >> savannah haself--- self-hati
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men. >> clearly pathetic. >> no. >> i was kidding. >> i do think it was within the purview of women to wrote barls what's sexist and what's not. i think women more sensitive, too. >> do you think it's okay for men to whine about sexism for valley? >> yes, i do. i do actually. i mean -- >> your son grew up to be a professional anti-sexism activist, you wouldn't be ashamed? >> not at all. not at all. i do think that there are issues that men have that are sexist issues. you think they're sexism against men and men -- >> men are awful. i'm not defending men in any way. the idea that a man would be like, i hate myself because i'm a man, i want to crush my masculinity -- >> you didn't grow up in in my households with two lesbian moms, tucker. a little different -- >> he's not kidding. the moral is we should be able to celebrate gender differences rather than saying that -- >> it's wrong.
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that's nick -- >> every night. and. >> and by doing that, somehow leading to the impeachment of president obama. by the way, we made a special video for all the great mothers that we see as inspirational to other mothers here at "red eye." let's roll that. ♪ >> where's bristol palin. >> this is bristol baili i-- palin? >> there is one woman i didn't know. who it was -- >> tanning tom?
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>> no, who is -- >> from "game of thrones." she fathered joffrey with her father. >> i am not a nerd. i don't watch. it shou-- watch it. the firearm has bought the farm. the u.s. government ordered a texas company to stop posting details on the north american on how to build a plastic gun that shoots real bullets using a 3d printer. we reported this last night. that was a repeat. anyway, earlier this week, defense distributed posted video of the world's first principal pistol firing. now they've been forced to scrub their online how-to with the state department citing international arms control law. the big red banner at the file-hosting site reads "death cab" -- my nickname in college -- "files be removed at the request of the department of defense trade controls." the company founder, cody wilson, yeah, cody -- such a cool name -- tells foxnews.com
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that he's exploring legal options and believes this is all politically motivated. he also think that it's a futa d futipharmaceutical -- a futile attempt to keep them from being spread on line. >> a liam snur. >> can you go meow? [ meowing ] >> of you won't -- [ meow ] >> thank you. >> who has those? >> i would have one. >> you would have one? >> korea, i would. >> they'll eat your eyes out. they will eat you while you sleep. >> tucker? >> yes? >> should it be legal to post these plans on line? >> information should be legal. information the government doesn't want ought to be illegal. no, by the way, this is ludicrous because nobody's going to make one of these guidance. >> you need the printer. >> in real life -- first of all, the printer costs $8,000. if you're going to make a
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plastic gun, you're just going to get a steel pipe and three-penny nail and -- >> we were talking about this. >> honestly, you would either want a fire around through a plastic barrel? no thanks. i don't think any person would want to do that. but the idea as -- >> cody would. >> as a matter of principle, cody would do it. >> anybody named cody is cool. >> how can the government stop you from downloading blue sflints. >> i don't know. >> and why the justice department? they have -- -- the state department, they are enforcing domestic laws. >> i want to ask, you are an internet scholar. >> yes. and an international arms dealer. >> that is true. can information really be scrubbed from what i like it refer to as the worldwide? >> and you're saying that exactly right. i applaud you. a lot of people from your generation don't know how to say it. you did a great job. >> thank you. i once again find myself on tucker's side. now, you cannot -- a, once it's out there, it's out there. there's not much you can do. b, i agree information could be
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free if you've got the information and you want to post it and share it, that is your right as a human to do. >> should obama be impeached over this? >> of course, goes without saying. i think there are crazy, nerdy people out there who might want to look at this and get their hands on it. i worry about the mentally ill, the disturbed, there's a segment of of the population that you want to -- >> bill. >> exactly. he was who his in mind. you want to keep things away from. there is something odd and disturb being it. >> if you're -- if you're going to take the position which i think most people at the table are taking. myself probably excluded, that guns should be legal and freely available, i don't see why the construction of the guns -- >> good point. >> should make a difference. particularly since it's probably a far less effective weapon than -- >> not suggesting guns are being
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constructed. these are plans under which you can construct a gun. >> what are you going do? make a papier-machier hat? >> i don't know. >> i think it's a means to an end. >> should we ban books on -- >> yes, have you been reading my blog? >> how about any book that criticized -- >> start with "huckleberry finn" and work your way down. >> you talking about the book or the drifter? >> it drifter. >> that kid should have been in school. >> isn't this bigger than a gun with about -- we were talking it 3d printers. this is like -- this is going to be the industrial revolution, and the worldwide -- >> world wide web. you knew -- >> you knew i was gog there. thank god i only have two fingers. you can make clothes, i can make food, i can make a michael ian black. i already did it. i keep telling you. i guess my point is at that -- this is irrelevant.
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we're going to be making stuff with our homes. >> it doesn't matter, you're right. but i would offer unsolicited advice to cody, the code-ster wilson. if you want to get the bull's eye that is the federal government off your back, maybe not so much with your anarchy web site. that's usually a way for them to focus in especially if you're doing something violent. and ied add that bush lied and people died. i wanted to counteract some of the obama stuff. >> yeah. you know what -- fair game. i'll let you have that. all right. >> death isn't a game, greg. >> wait, we're not doing the next story? we better get to the next -- it sound like i'm talking to myself. >> who -- there's though one here. we can't hear this person either. >> coming up, how can we make america stronger? tucker carlson discusses his new book, "i dress up like a giant kidney in underground bars on the weekend." not on topic, but okay, "fox and
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friends" anchor. should a high school hotness tournament be banned? perhaps, but then again, maybe -- something i've refleneglecte read because i've lost all hope. [ female announcer ] your smile. like other precious things that start off white, it yellows over time. when it comes to your smile, if you're not whitening, you're yellowing. crest whitestrips whiten as well as $500 professional treatments. guaranteed. crest 3d white whitestrips. [ crowd cheering ]
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he's picking up slack for useless barak. yeah, dennis rodman says he's returning to north korea, wherever that is, in august to reason with the pudgy prince kim jong-un because president obama "can't do the s-word." thursday, the tired out tumbleweed told tmz he'll tampa to convince his pint-sized pal to release american tourist kenneth bayh, who's been sentenced to 15 years hard labor for allegedly plotting to overthrow the government. let's listen in as the worm talk of springing bayh and some
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things we couldn't really understand. >> it's going to be difficult because -- i think his nationality as far as his background, i think there's this whole different situation. that's the only thing. but you know, hey, i'm not a diplomat. i'm just -- i'm going do one thing for you. look at the plaque president, he can't even -- [ inaudible ] >> put that on your baep be[ bl show. >> did you hear -- >> obama can't do [ bleep ]. do that for [ bleep ]. >> wow. here's hot rod taking credit for kim not launching his missiles as well as more barak bashing. >> at least kennedy did one thing -- he took our missiles back. dang you. he took the missiles back. >> [ bleep ] obama. >> i couldn't have said it better myself although i don't know really what he said. meanwhile, rodman has revealed who will be joining him on the
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trip. take a look. ♪ >> i hope they can fit on air force one or air force fun as it will now be called. m mib. if he pull its off, will naysayers who have constantly made fun of him be forced to grovel before him like the losers we are for doubting him? >> you'll be eating a lot of hump bell pie, dpreg -- >> i will. >> just like chicago fans did when they brought dennis rodman in, a troubled athlete but a talented rebounder who won that team 13 world championships in the 1960s. yes, dennis rodman -- as soon as i started talking i realized i was going to run out of basketball knowledge very, very quickly. and i did. >> being somebody who knows nothing, i believed there were 13 -- >> i did, too. >> i can tell you that everything he played was --
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>> tucker, do you think kenneth bayh was trying to overthrow the government. >> i wanted -- is that nitrous oxide that dennis rodman saw? what makes him talk that way? >> he is sober. >> hey -- >> for real, though. what's the physiological explanation? >> sound like his tongue is too big. >> i don't know. i mean, it sound like he has trouble just getting words out. >> here's -- here's my theory. everybody knows somebody who quit drinking. and they -- they explode with creativity. this is what you could be seeing. >> i quit drinking. >> yes. >> i can still speak english. >> you're now the host of "fox and friends" in the morning. >> we had races last week. you know, people mock -- i'm not joking about this. they were fantastic. it was sunk oh de mello. we -- cinco de mayo. we had a burrito-rolling contest. >> that was amazing, great stuff. >> and i'm not -- it was great
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television. let me say this. people make fun of dennis rodman like he's -- the truth is, he's no more embaring than bill richardson who went over to north korea and successfully negotiated a number of -- >> maybe it will work. >> jedediah! he claims he's no diplomat, but he could end up being the greatest diplomat we have ever seen since insert the name of somebody. >>in but obama. this is the only one that i know with a bigger ego than president obama. >> i like you. >> i know. i always throw in an obama joke. he thinks he can solve the world's problems. if he can manage things that politicians haven't been able to do in the past 20 years, go for it. maybe we need a regular guy. >> he is a regular guy. maybe we need a joe schmow. >> i have given occupy politicians. >> yes. he's a read guy like your dad was like great with kids. all right. bill? you were neerd rodman in the
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'90s. how did it feel when you watched him trash your current be did loved? the it must have ripped you in half. >> that was how something else felt. i'm glad we picked an earlier time slot, way to stop yourself. >> i loved that he was challenging t tmz. all off kilter. i'm going to show something in a block. put that in your show. >> rodman doesn't know what he's doing. all he has to do is tell kim jong-il -- >> un. >> sorry, kim jong-un. >> that was the kid. >> i won't be your friend anymore if you don't do it. that guy is so obsessed with dennis rodman, you would say i won't write or make phone call, but he is homeless. he has nowhere to live. all he's got is north korea. >> that's true, he won't do it. >> what -- if kim jong>> does
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this because obama asked. another strategic part on north korea's behalf to do that. >> i'm telling you, this could be a major game changer for the presidency and for dennis rodman. in fact, they end up switching. and really the moral presidency belongs to rodman. >> wow. >> what does it mean for common alaska? >> the moral president? i don't know -- after my hands are crossed, i can't unacross them. >> we'll have to break. >> i've been wrong about this for so long. i've said how stupid cool people a are, but when you're dealing with a guy in another country who thinks you're cool, that's more important than anything. he could actually pull this up by say, hey, if you don't do this i won't be your friend. >> why are begins so big in ghana? >> it's the same thing, greg. >> because they're little there. you are a giant. congratulations on the new movie, "gone in 60 seconds."
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yes. >> the dumbest joke ever. all right. do you have a comment on the show in e-mail us -- got a video of your animal doing something? go to foxnews.com/redeye. still to come, the half type report from andy levy. why won't he go to north korea? wait, he did. tonight's half doppler report is sponsored by prison, those secure places where people are confined for punishment for a crime. thanks, prison. [ male announcer ] at charles schwab, we've committed to setting the bar high by going low. tdd# 1-800-345-2550 like offering schwab etfs tdd# 1-800-345-2550 with the lowest operating expenses tdd# 1-800-345-2550 in their respective lipper categories -- tdd# 1-800-345-2550 lower than ishares tdd# 1-800-345-2550 and vanguard. tdd# 1-800-345-2550 and with all our etfs commission-free tdd# 1-800-345-2550 when traded online in a schwab account, tdd# 1-800-345-2550 it leaves our investors with more money to invest. tdd# 1-800-345-2550 something they've come to count on with us. tdd# 1-800-345-2550 so as investors continue to set their portfolio goals high, tdd# 1-800-345-2550 we help keep their costs of investing low. tdd# 1-800-345-2550
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now, that's progressive. call or click today. we're back. let's faeind out if we've got anything so far. andy levy. >> how are you? >> i'm great. good to see you. >> you took. >> not really. >> is mother's day sexist? you referred to michael ian black as a parent with kids. >> i know. i try to cover all the bases. there are parents without kids -- >> that we call them parents anymore. on the other hand, michael ian black, you said you the to be the one your kids look up to, the role model. you also said, "i hated my baby." yeah. >> how those two statements mutually exclusive? >> my send is without knowing your children that they probably know that you hated them as baby. >> you're darn right they do. >> yeah. and i'm saying -- for that reason, i find it hard to
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believe that they would look up to you. >> you've never read "the great s santini" or classic literature about hard-nosed father who make their children love them out of fear, not respect? in yeah, he was kind of a jerk, too. >> kid grew up all right. pat conroy, terrific novelist. >> absolutely. absolutely. also spend a lot of time in therapy. >> whatever. >> and? therapy got you out of p.e. yeah. jedediah -- kate lombardi, who wrote this piece, seems to pin her whole pieces on the difference between mother's day cards and father's day cards. maybe mother's day isn't sexist. maybe people who write greeting cards are lazy hacks. >> that's true. i don't even know the greeteding cards because they're sad and that threat pick. i buy empty, plank cards withand carrot on the front. >> i do it and write it myself. something -- it a cute thing, i
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make a home made coupon book with massage. fantastic. >> for hugs and stuff? >> yes, exactly. >> yeah. >> yeah. >> they never get redeemed, do they? >> no. they're still sitting around. gets me out of paying for crap. >> true. yeah. bill, you said men can raise kids, they can't hold on to them. it's like you with the beer glass. >> wow. >> that should be a greeting card. >> yeah. >> maybe for st. patrick's day or something. there's a future -- >> eddie? i thought you were going to say plaider. that's not a greeting card. >> no, no. >> hope he has one but can't hold on it. michael ian black, you challenged the thing with -- i did a search and not a single article written by a man ever. >> okay. >> no, that was wrong.
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>> it takes a big man, andy, to admit had he's wrong. the kind of man that children look up to and want previously when they grow up. >> yep. talk a smaller man, though, to believe that i duel that search. greg, quick question -- why was roseanne in that montage of bad moms? >> we needed some bad moms. >> i don't think she was a bad mom. every other mom in that montage was a pretty bad mom, but -- >> not gwyneth. >> is she? you look up to her? >> she makes her own soap. >> so does bill. basically reprocessed body fats. >> complete behind guns, plan. did you know that the state department office is responsible for enforcing the armed exports
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control act and traffic judge n armies regulation, so are you expediting something when you put it on the aptly named world web ohio. this is like a blake helicopter named in enforcing international law in the domestic united states. turns out some of the crackpots were right afraid. >> yeah. but the arms export control act is, i think hour long. >> but state department, not a law enforcement agencies should not be? >> yeah. i completely agree. and that said, michael ian black, i grew this is stupid, it's out on the bay and other sites which had to look up. it's been downloaded over $135,000 was me hitting refresh. i got dial up, still. also, you didn't realize that
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you needed more than one copy of the plan to make a perfect gain. takes a big man to ad where the that. andy, are your notes written on psycho paper? in there was a greg, i don't want to give away too many secrets. apparently the paper that was in the had. year of peytoni in-- you said o "fox and friends" you had chihuahua races and burrito rolling test. tell me the loors didn't mean -- i am not ex-animal rating with the chef -- it's ted stoner. i am not making that up. >> the burrito of cold -- >> i did not john mccain during the restaurant. you named a guy like thepotion.
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he can run little -- he done say that the burrito rolling had nothing to do with the chi united auto workers union since then. >> i was saying, last year, sayi saying, i'm like -- heap slaps like a children. >> it was on more american. >> i know. >> certainly got a future on fox. it you hear that? >> maybe it. >> out for your job. >> what could it be called? america at rodman. playoff playoff -- it doesn't make a difference if we make it or not, we got each other and that's a lot for love. not a story, just another note scrawled in lipstick on my windshield by greg jarrett. the man has lost his mind. would you take a one-way trip to mars? be sure to screen your answer directly -- scream your answer
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this is humira at work. so many yearn to never return. yeah, nearly 80,000 people have applied to be the first humans to land on mars. and then live there for good they're not coming back. a nonprofit organization plans to put people there by 2023. they better be hot. the first homesteaders of what might be a permanent colony said the ceo, baz lansdorf, "this is turning out to be the most desired job in history." speak for yourself. you still have my sweatshirt. discuss. >> lightning round. lightning round. >> forever. jedediah, if mars -- they told 80,000 people they had been
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selected, how many would chicken out knowing this was a one-way ticket? >> like 79,999. i think it's kind of scary to go there -- i bore easily. so all i'm thinking is what would i do there. >> you would burn up in about ten seconds. >> there's not going to be a gym or a bear burger -- may favorite burger in new york. it's amazing. i'm kind of boring. >> there's no lilith fair on mars. >> no lilith fair. no hot musicians. come on. >> yes, yes. >> no dream catchers there you can put around your room. >> exactly. >> no boyfriend constantly confused by your odd musical selections. mib, would you go if you could bring your collection of doll baby heads? >> i would be tempted to go even without the dog baby heads. i think most of the people, at least half of the 80,000 would go if collected. i think, you know -- >> it's a one in a lifetime. >> literally once in a lifetime, yeah. >> it's a compelling thing to be the first person to set foot on another planet.
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you'll be with other people. you'll be connected sort of to earth. they're going to make it into a reality show. >> yeah. they'll film it. yeah. >> i -- i would be -- i would seriously think about going if we didn't have kids. and would more seriously think about going because of the fact that i do have kids. >> i would drive -- you'd fly at -- tucker, is this another example of earthling colonationwiding and destroying a place -- colonizing and destroying a place where they don't belong? >> no, it's more like invading canada. why? it's just not worth. it but see pictures of it? >> mars? >> yeah. looks like reno. it's bleak. >> i love reno. >> i love it, too. >> the biggest little city in the world. >> trust me, i'm not criticizing reno. >> sounded like you were criticizing reno -- >> a little backpedaling there from tucker carlson. >> it's tough enough for those who appreciate a tough town. >> we won't be watching "fox and friends" this weekend. >> reno -- i spent a lot of time in reno. >> his some of the best times of
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my life, and i'm not joking. >> it's a hell hole -- reno's a hell hole. >> reno is awesome. >> have you ever shot a man -- we got a natattoo in reno. >> i met a stripper in reno. >> what is the question? >> the question is, is this just the ugly american stream where we're piling on to the eiffel tower and making a mess and embarrassing ourselves in a foreign land. we'll improve mars -- >> every where we go, we'll make it better. >> the one response, he made fun of reno and throwing in that you go to france a lot. usually -- >> you have known bas for years. do you think he'll pull this mission off, or is he pulling a baz? >> he pulled off "the great gatsby," he can do anything. >> i believe that's baz luhrman. >> everything he touches it's
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mo more fabulous. >> died this. i have no problem trying it, but i'll tell you why -- women with three boobs. >> there's no proof of that -- >> there is proof. >> if you want to find a woman with three boobs, it's one woman dating bill. bill's a boob. >> if you are a woman with actual three boobs, call me. i am done with terra firma. >> here's my point, can't we fix the barren places on earth first? cleveland, detroit -- >> my room. >> what? >> my rom. -- my room. >> your womb? >> exactly -- i don't think that's possible. there's a hot-roversy -- i coined that phrase. i'll make it into a web site although somebody heard that and is doing it.
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hot-roversy.com or dot-org? male students pit their female classmates against each other and vote on which is sexiest. while the voting is going on, girls are encouraged to "look their finest." the tournament has been going on for five years. officials say there's little they can do because it isn't held on school ground. i do the same thing with elderly gardeners in my neighborhood in the losers' parish. mib. for most of the hottest people in school, it's all downhill after that. why not let them enjoy it? >> i'm trying to -- i'm trying to think about how i feel about this. i guess i'm sort of again it morally and ethically. i certainly wouldn't want my daughter to compete in this unless she won. >> yes. yes. >> you know, in which case -- >> she would. >> totally. >> i thought you were -- my daughter's so hot. she's my-year-old daughter. so hot. >> so proud. you make me sick. jedediah, you were actually a teacher. >> yes. >> does it already -- don't kids
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already know who's hot and who's not in school? isn't this redundant? >> it is, but kids like to write it down and make a game out of it. this has been going on for years. i remember this in my grammar school as a kid. the problem wasn't the boys being mean, the problem was the girls being mean. all the girls who got picked ganged up against those who didn't and we had the cheerleader the -- >> you didn't get picked. we get it. >> sorry. >> that is mean. >> that is really mean. >> thank you. thank you. >> tucker, should this be shut down? >> not i don't. as long the state department is stopping the plastic gun web sites, why not this? you know, i am not certain of this, but i would be shock and jedediah came back and it wasn't the girls were perpetuating this. >> i agree. >> the natural competition -- >> girls love that. and girls have cruel at that age. girls can be very -- >> at every age. >> particularly high school girls, middle school girl -- >> girls in college, girls who graduated from college, girls in
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the working world, gharl are married, girls that have kids. middle aged women, senior citizens -- >> the elderly. >> the elderly, those who are dead and come back and haunt you. female viewers tweeting me if i have male genitalia. screw you bettyboop32. >> that's awful. >> actually, i think it's a dude who did that. it wasn't even him -- he was like, just inquiring. >> he was planoloning on coming new york -- >> you didn't want it hurt him. bill, you were voted to most i do stg of your own vomit -- to die stinking of your own vomit in high school. >> everyone degrees of stinking of something. >> second of all, these people should watch their movies. any of these guys use social network? zuckerburg had rated how hot the
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women were and what happened with that came facebook, and he became a billionaire. watch your movies, people. this is why i'm going to mars for the weekend -- >> this is why you're telling me the site that rated the hotness ofard didn't do that bell? >> it was by trial and error. their brains were beautiful. are you so shallow. >> i. . -- i am, i am. >> first reno, now females without brains. buy one for your mother's day, it's mother's day already. she'll love it. [ children laughing ]
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a california woman was arrested after she slapped a cop in the face because she wanted to go to jail so she could quit smoking. etta may lopez, looking awesome, will get hear wish. the 31-year-old pleaded no contest to misdemeanor battery and was sentenced to 63 days in the slammer. she admitted she waited outside the county jail for hours earlier this week intent on assaulting the officer. tucker, you go in and out of smoking. i think this is one of the most charming stories ever.
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she wanted to quit so bad she put herself in jail. >> anybody who's ever tried it has total sympathy. obviously she's a member of the homeless/mentally ill. i don't think the idea is crazy. i would need to do that -- i only smoke five cigarettes at most a they. i understand her mib. if they can't afford the patch or fundamental, why not this? >> yeah. sometime it f i just need a break -- >> yeah. >> you know what i mean? not throw a brick through a window. i'll do what it takes. >> your kids drive you nut. >> oh -- i'd go to mars to get away from these kids. mar, i'm telling you. mars! >> best call-back show ever. >> aren't conjugal visit currency in sglal. >> it is. there's a woman that's -- she smokes and party and is passionate. my only problem with her -- only
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has two boobs. goodness. all right, -- jedediah, could w have a serioucop-slapping impact? >> i don't think so, but i've slapped people for less and -- i don't know how much it costs, nicorette and all that. i guess if it's pricey and it's your own reason -- >> what's the most frivolous reason you ever slapped someone. >> for stealing my pen. listen, i'm from brooklyn, we don't mess around. >> yeah. tucker, you're smoking a -- an election cigarette right now, aren't you? >> right now. >> yeah. yeah. >> there's nothing your hand -- >> does it work? >> the electric cigarette? the e-cigarette sweeping this nation? enjoy, blue -- >> i can't get over the ritual of it. i like -- >> i like to see how much he's dropping and get free ones. let me just say, this is totally true. if the u.s. government was
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insear in wanting to help people -- sincere in wanting it help people quit, there are all kind of product out there. i quit in one day with -- they have cigarette and have a huge interest in you smoking. >> and you can say i'm tucker, some more gum? >> not one time have i gotten free anything from -- >> i did hypnotism. did not work. did not work. for four days i thought i was a ticket -- >> you're down to five cigarettes a day? that's never -- i don't smoke that much. i just smoke when i drink. >> but you drink a lot. >> i drink a lot. that's true. all right. a lot of gatorade actually. which is vodka. i tall it gatorade. anyway, we'll close things out with a post-game wrap-up.
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so...how'd it go? well, dad, i spent my childhood living with monks learning the art of dealmaking. you've mastered monkey-style kung fu? no. priceline is different now. you don't even have to bid. master hahn taught you all that? oh, and he says to say (translated from cantonese) "you still owe him five bucks." your accent needs a little work.
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michael? >> yes. >> serious question. why are you so damn handsome? >> andy? >> you flatter me. >> it's a question on america's mind. >> it's a combination of diet, exercise and genetic autos absolutely. america needs to know. >> i just want to wish my wonderful, beautiful mother happy mother's day. >> i'm sitting here. >> i should wish my mom happy
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mother's day. >> too late. >> to all mom autos yes. >> thank you. that does it for me, i shall see you next time, which will be very soon. as i stair at you. i grew up in small town america. as a kid, i worked in a dairy. my father and grandfather beth fought in world war ii. there were a lot of constants in my life. things i could rely on. church on sundays. the pledge of allegiance at school. the love and support of mom and dad. and the fact that i lived in the greatest country in the world where every daydreams come true. but last wednesday, as i sat in a congressional hearing room on a rainy day in washington, d.c., listening to whistle blowers' riveting accounts of what happened in